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Newroom gems

Newsrooms can be brutal. Frustrating at times. But on most occasions, it’s an exciting place to be in. The conversations are spicy, salty and crazy too.  Here are some of the newsroom gems (read conversations). Will not spill the beans on who said what. But then it doesn’t matter actually.

* Fuck man, it’s such a boring day…The whole world is having a holiday. Bloody only we are working. Will people die if they don’t read newspapers tomorrow?

* Hey, can I borrow your earphone? Want to write a story in peace, not in a mood to listen to bullshit.

* P V Sindhu…. she’s all over the newspaper… Whenever I hear this PV, I always remember P V Narasimha Rao.
The ‘silent man’ will now turn in his grave. Give him a break.

* No stories for tomorrow. It will be a really tough day.
Somebody answers back: Newspapers are like bedrooms. Eventually the sex will happen. No need to stress.

* Today, I completed 10 years in Gujarat…
Yes… we can give you this name: Baby, bahu, ba (as you came here as a young gal straight out of college and then got married here…and one day you will become a granny here)

* Did you see the bikini pics of the famous holiday?

* Sunny Leone is the most searched person online. Speaks a lot about Indian men.

* Aare, aaj kal players ka interview nehin mila toh uska parents se interview kar lo. Agar woh nehin mile toh, uska kutta/billi se interview kar lo. (These days, if you don’t get to talk to a sportsperson then talk to his parents. If parents are not available then talk to his/her pet dog or cat)

* Of course,I saved the picture in L file…..what will I do if it’s not saved? Aatm hatya kar lu kya? (Should I commit sucicide?)

* Hey guys.. you know there’s a model who eats paper.
Really, kaun hai woh mental? (Who is that mad person?)
Kisi ko chahiye kya (Anybody interested?) Free ka ration supply milega.

* Somebody screams ‘Page 1—R4 PDF  has come… guys one last chance…’
Yes, we can hear you.

* Arre page chhodo… kal paper logon ko mangta hai (Please release the page. Tomorrow people will read the paper). Deadline ka dahi mat banao.

* I miss having cool intelligent people who enjoy ch—tiyapanti.
Boss, what’s the exact meaning of ch***tiyapanti?
Many meanings… which one you want?

*********
Food for thought

Newsrooms are the place where somebody or the other is always eating something, drinking tea/coffee or somebody is making a phone call to the canteen. So, till the edition is put to sleep, you will always hear….

“Bhaiya, ek chai.”

“Anda maggi one plate.”

“Veg sandwitch… bhagwan ke naam pe grill mat karna.”

“Uncle, yeh chai hai ya chhasni (sugar syrup) hai? Chinni muft ka milta hai kya?” (Is this tea or sugar syrup? Do you get free supply of sugar?”

“Chhottu, listen, bread, jam, double omelette… pls don’t put haldi (turmeric) in the omelette.”
“Madam, hum haldi nehin dalte.” (Madam, we don’t put turmeric in omelette)
“Aare, last time omelette mein sirf haldi ka taste hi tha.”
“Na madam.”
“Chottu, maine khaya tha ya tum??? jaldi le ke aana. Aur soon… tomato sauce nehin chahiye..”
“Madam kyon?”
“Kyonki tumhara tomatao sauce kaddu (pumpkin) sauce hai ….”

“Yaar, bahut ho gaya yeh aloo, baigan, giloda, tindola…I want gurda kalegi, bheja fry, biryani…”
“Chalo, khana order karte hai.”

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About Deepika Sahu

I earn my living through writing stories, editing what other people write (in simple terms I am a journalist). I dream of opening a cafeteria in the mountains, owning a beach home on the shores of Bay of Bengal... but right now, they all seem like wild dreams.. A gypsy at heart --- am passionate about life, music, words, cooking for people I love, soaking in the lashing rain and just looking at the changing colours of the sky.... And I am a great fan of the Indian Railways and I long to travel in First Class AC coupe across India.....with my man

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