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Birthday Happysad

Happy birthday….that’s what all of us have grown up listening to or telling to friends, sisters, brothers, mom and dad. Birthdays are occasions to feel happy about, to celebrate life. Today is my father’s birthday. All these years, my father’s birthday has been special because dad’s birthday is on dussera. We celebrate to according to Indian calendar. Dussera for us is the time to celebrate life and its vibrant hues. The autumn nip in the air brings an element of joy, love, ecstasy. Everybody is in a mood to give, receive love in abundance. I generally make it a point to be at home to celebrate dussera and my dad’s birthday. My mom always cooked something special and delicious on this day. It’s a day which makes us all of us very happy.
Today I don’t have my father with me. He left my world in January this year. Today when I woke up, I just couldn’t stop crying. Last year, on this day I was with him at Orissa without knowing that in just a matter of three months he would go so far away from me that I wouldn’t be able to wish him ‘Happy Birthday’ once again in my life. Today, I feel as if I am carrying a huge rock within me and I am almost getting crushed under it. I have never felt so desolate in my life. Death is so final that it can just turn smiles into tears, joy to pain. I just wanted moments of solitude and even though my hand almost reached out to my mobile phone to make a call to my mother, I refrained from doing so. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to my sister when she had called up. I wanted to be alone in my moments of grief.
My father was an ardent of Gandhiji. Today on his birthday, I didn’t go to any temple but to Gandhi Ashram. Sitting all alone in that strangely calm modest house in which Gandhiji lived, I felt close to my father. For my father, Gandhi was God. I am sure, somewhere my father today would have felt a sense of calmness and serenity too. Happy birthday, Baba.

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About Deepika Sahu

I earn my living through writing stories, editing what other people write (in simple terms I am a journalist). I dream of opening a cafeteria in the mountains, owning a beach home on the shores of Bay of Bengal... but right now, they all seem like wild dreams.. A gypsy at heart --- am passionate about life, music, words, cooking for people I love, soaking in the lashing rain and just looking at the changing colours of the sky.... And I am a great fan of the Indian Railways and I long to travel in First Class AC coupe across India.....with my man

One response to “Birthday Happysad

  1. anu ⋅

    nice deepika.even my father was an ardent fan of gandijee.just before he died we went to gandhi ashram where he wrote wot ever he saw on the walls and wept unashmedly

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